Do you ever just feel exhausted?? I mean, the complete, head to toe, heart to head kind of exhausted. That kind of exhausted where you’re too tired to move and your mind is too spent to think. You turn your head slowly in one direction but your brain is still stuck facing the other way and doesn’t understand how to move around in your skull.

The shutters have come down over the eyes and a handwritten piece of paper has been loosely taped up and reads ‘Be back l8r’. Yeah, I see the short hand slang. Not cool. Pet hate of mine. BIG time. This is, however, a perfect example of the feeling. No energy to write a full sentence in standard English, let alone correct it.

Days of exhaustion would best be treated by a lazy day(s) in the house, sleeping, reading, writing, drawing. Taking the dog for a walk and maybe a naughty cuddle with your loved one before a healthy home cooked meal. The perfect end would be a candlelit bath with some relaxing scents and calming music.

Or sometimes, quite simply, I like to lay on the floor in silence with my legs raised up on the sofa. I love the feeling of the floor when everything gets a bit too much. To feel the ground is almost reassuring that there is support and stability.

Let’s get real though. How often can we actually fulfil that desire for self care?? We’re just so busy with life all day and every day that it’s hard to fit in time for ourselves.

We need to shop for food and goods, take the car in for a service, pick up a parcel, search for that perfect present, pick up some sanitary items, exercise, attend your aunts wedding to her third husband who is young enough to be your brother. Things happen. Life happens.

To buy all of these things that we really don’t want to pay out for we have to work.

More often than not, when we’re at work, we’re with… people. How many conversations a day do you actually have that are meaningful? I mean the kind of meaningful that excites you and opens your ears up to listening? I struggle with small talk. I really couldn’t give a flying fuck about some of the things people talk about. Correction, most of the things. This is what I find draining. People suck the life out of me like death eaters.

So for the next couple of weeks I’m closing my shutters as much as possible. They’ll be open for work but then will automatically close as soon as it’s time to go. Then hopefully I’ll start to revive some of that energy I’m so desperately lacking.

It’s quiet time.