Selectively Social

Friday night. Work drinks. Everyone was going. Hotels were booked. Pre-drinks were being drunk by the early starters who were already at the hotel gearing up to go out. I finished work at 5 and all week had the intention of going out, getting to know my co-workers a bit more and having a couple of drinks.

I got home to get ready and was honest with myself. I didn’t want to go.

How often have we all been there??

All week I had bowed down to peer pressure, “you’re coming aren’t you?” – “yeah, of course I am, wouldn’t miss it!” I tried to believe that what I was saying was true. That I was excited and wanted to get involved and join in the fun and frolics. Everyone was getting more pumped the closer Friday got and at times I could imagine myself having a good time.

When it came to it though, I had no desire to go. All week and every day I spend with my colleagues. It’s not that I dislike them, but I see plenty of them at work, more than I see anyone else. Once upon a time, that wouldn’t of mattered. Any excuse for an after work beer. I’m not afraid of FOMO, back in the day I may have been. Now? I’m much more interested in getting an early night and going for a run feeling fresh the next day.

So I decided not to go.

It felt as though a weight had lifted from me, I felt so much happier and lighter that I would be able to be myself at home and not have to feign interest at drinks I deep down didn’t want to go to.

Some would call me a killjoy, boring or not a team player. If they want to think that then that’s fine. The truth of the matter though, sometimes I just don’t really want to socialise. There are very few people in the world who I connect with and can maintain a conversation with that I keep interest in. Selectively social. I’m awful at small talk and even worse when it comes to having to sit still and listen to a story I’m not interested in.

I’d much rather be with those one or two people in the world who get me. Who understand that I can’t always cope with the business and drama of people. That sometimes it’s ok to sit in silence. That sometimes a story isn’t funny and is something to discuss or sit and ponder about. Likewise, there are those moments you sit and have a giggle about the most obscure and risqué subjects!

I’ve always been introverted and selectively social, the only thing that has changed is that as I’ve gotten older I’ve started to actually listen to my heart and do what I want to do and see more of who I want to see instead of going to those drinks that everyone else was going to , just because they were.

Today, I’m sure I’ll get to work and hear all about how amazing the night was and how I missed out. I’ll smile and nod and acknowledge their words but deep down I know I didn’t miss out because in that moment when I made that decision to stay at home I was happy.

What do you do when you’re peer pressured to go out but really don’t want to? I’d love to hear, comment below!

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